Up until a few minutes ago, the only semi-formed idea I had regarding 'what to blog about today' was all about how I was mentally trapped in some 90s-ish timeperiod where it was still really cool when someone actually linked to your site from theirs.

Then I checked my email, and found this:

People are being asked for their views on what kind of picture warnings should be put on cigarette packets.

The images - which will be put on packets from autumn next year - include photographs of people with rotting teeth and badly damaged lungs.

The Government wants to know what the public thinks of them and to rate those they regard as the most powerful.

Canada was the first country to put such pictures on cigarettes and they are also used in Singapore and Brazil.

The 42 images, which are on the website www.packwarnings.nhs.uk, include people wearing oxygen masks in hospital with the words "Smoking causes fatal lung cancer" and pictures of a foetus with the words "Smoking harms your baby".

There is also one of a patient receiving emergency treatment with the headline "Smoking clogs the arteries and causes heart attacks and strokes".

Others show people wearing masks in hospital while some depict small children potentially suffering the effects of smoke inhalation.

A total of 14 different messages will be chosen for inclusion on the packets, which will roll out to other tobacco products in 2008.

Now, if I remember correctly, one of those other countries that does not matter [probably Canada] because they are not America[FUCK YEAH!] tried this, and I heard it turned the cigarette packs into fun little collectors items, like the beanie babies at McDonalds. Get the whole set, and all that crap.

Some of the pictures remind me of the ones I've seen before, and most of them are just the same crappy message over a different picture. I took the liberty of saving them here, so you do not have to fill out the dumbassed survey over on the UK site just to look at them. I considered grouping them according to message, but...no. I'll just leave them in the order I found them.

Well, that's just great, what with that whole Social Security crisis I keep hearing so much about. And those last fourteen years are generally crappy anyway, unless you're amazingly healthy -- except for that nasty undetected heart issue that suddenly kills you. Or that nasty undetected weak spot in one of the vessels in your brain. Or any of the other things Perfectly Healthy People die of.

Again? Good thing I saved this: y'know what? I'm sure those 80-100 year old people who smoked for years and years who died really, really missed those extra fourteen years, too.

And that guy looks about as real and dead as the real dead people on CSI. Which is...not so much.

And turn into disembodied feet. Young, manicured disembodied feet. What a way to go.

Probably from all that stress. Y'know, the stress caused by all these bitchy anti-smokers always coming across the room and into the nice sealed little smoking section to scream and scream and scream about how the smoke is bothering them.

I'm surprised more people aren't just stroking out at random because of that shit. Fuck, maybe you should just go to the doctor and get one of those nice little oh-so-not-druggy pills they always advertise on TV. You know, the ones they always say 'ask your doctor' about? Maybe you feel the need to get up and bitch because you have a kind of restless leg syndrome that's spread to your fucking tongue and shut down the part of your brain that makes you think before you do these stupid things....

And this picture goes with this statement how? Oh, because they 'appear' to be doing CPR. It takes two hands to do that, dummy....

Of course, if you smoke, this won't happen to you. Because once we're done, you won't be qualified for any sort of surgery.

...which magically shows up as a pink spot on the otherwise monochromatic XRay. That's how you know it's fatal.

Edit: That's probably not an XRay, but it still looks like a bit of aftermarket work. Especially with that big red 'arrow'. Those always show up when you have horrible fatal cancers. In fact, they swarm around you in real life.

That looks more like the newest dish from KFC than it does 'fatal lung cancer'. Unless, of course, you're saying that the mashed-potatoes-chicken-corn-gravy-and-cheese-bucket is fatal lung cancer....

...and turns everyone into Trumpy.

Is this guy holding two lit cigarettes? Is he really? Did they really do something that stupid?

I agree. Don't start injecting cigarettes directly into your blood stream. Don't even give yourself IM shots full of cigarette -- because that needle would be huge.

It's so addictive, that you'll start seeing them everywhere, and wonder why you can't make the bars bend, even though they're made out of smokes....

This is getting kinda dumb.

So everyone should start smoking, and then quit. And then start and quit again, because you can only reduce something by 50% twice. But hey, if you just keep starting and quitting, then you'll have a negative percent chance of having the problem!

...so does putting your trash in its proper place at the cinema, I take it....

And if you quit now, we'll give you a chance to test out this amazing new sex toy...? What the fuck is this image supposed to be doing here?

Getting lots of chest XRays, however, is great for you.

Having that facial hair? Far worse than smoking.

Why is that little greater-than there?

Apples smoke.

Getting old also causes this.

Using all that facial treatment crap can't be good for you either. If that's supposed to be a before-and-after sort-of look-into-the-future, I'd have to say she better stop using the white shit on her face, because it probably led to her losing her front teeth somehow....

1. That's not sperm.
2. Good. Especially if it's true. Very good. More people should smoke. I hope car exhaust does it, too. And grill smoke, and smoke from cooking your fucking veggies.

Did I mention how good this is?

Great. Wonderful. She doesn't need a kid anyway. Not that it won't stop her from going out and cutting open some 9-monther woman, because anyone that pushes an empty stroller? Fucking loony.

I heard the same thing about meat.

There are more reasons for impotence in this picture than smoking.

I remember this one from the earlier series. That's not impotence. That's a cigarette doing something it's very hard to get a cigarette to do. That's very talented.

Do you know what's in your drinking water?

Looks like someone had a bad meth problem, too....

Enough with the fake hospital pictures already.

I'll bet an ultrasound could harm the baby, too.

So does implanting the fucking foetus in a lightbulb....

Is it just me, or does it look like someone twisted that thing's head around a couple of times? I doubt smoking caused that.

Don't use them in your photoshoppery, either.

Also don't let them play with medical equipment -- especially medical equipment involving things-that-can-go-boom or things-that-can-strangle. Or, well, actually, go ahead. I don't care. But you might.

That kid is made of smoke....

Where have I heard that before?

There's something wrong with the first part of that sentence.

He can also make it so you don't think after 9pm, and feel no need to move until you wake up in the morning and have your daily happy-lima-bean-pill.

I doubt that.

Here you see a variation on that Sistine chapel thing, this is just before God grabbed the hand of his rather fucked up first man creation and tosses him like a really fucked up lawn gnome.

Um, why are we in a tunnel?

That, thankfully, is the last one. I guess they were kinda grouped for me already. Oops.

The only conclusion I can really come to is that somehow smokers with their smoking have made these people very, very stupid.

And annoying.

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