Why 'annoying'? It's Frequently Asked Questions.

Things that are asked frequently become quite annoying....

Questions about Commenting

Do I have to register to post a comment?

No, you don't have to register. In fact, you can't. Anyone [including bots, those lucky, spammy bastards] can comment unless, for some reason, I've decided that they can't. Wordpress helps me in this a little by identifying certain things [within specifications that I'm able to set] as spam and holding them for moderation.

Why is my email address required for comments?

Because it is. Because if I ever decide to set it up so that people who bother entering a valid email address can self-moderate [if things ever have to be that moderated], I'd like for that sort of thing to already be set up.

Don't worry. The email address doesn't actually show up anywhere but where I can see it, and I don't do that whole selling-email-addresses thing. Consider this a privacy notice, or something. I won't expose any private details unless you're a complete and utter fuckwit and I feel you're asking for it.

Why do you let people troll? You can ban them, so why don't you?

Because it's funny, and doesn't actually hurt me. Whether it's one person or a dozen trolling, they actually draw more people to my site. Also, it's a hell of a lot more fun to watch them talk to themselves and pretend I've directly responded [or whatever they're going to do] than it is to just ban them and wait for them to find another way in, and banning the bad people can sometimes lead directly to harming the good people who haven't done anything wrong. And if they get really, really horrible, I have some fun things I can do beyond tossing them into the Idiot Archive where they belong.

Disemvoweling comes to mind....

What's that little 'Reply to this comment' link about?

That link allows you to post a direct reply to the comment it's in. At least, it should. If it doesn't, would someone let me know? Because nobody seems to reply to the comments.

What can I post in my comments? What HTML is allowed?

I'm currently working on figuring out how to change what is and isn't allowed. I used to know where that was, but I seem to have lost track of it. Until then, I'll just use the tag that shows what's allowed just above the comments....

Questions about Donations

Why do you have two donation links?

Because I can?

Actually, one of them is a donation that goes to me -- to my paypal account. It's money that I can spend on whatever I feel the urge to spend it on.

The other is a donation that goes directly into an account that only gets used for server costs. No movies, no food, no videogames, no frilly underthings or plush Cthulhus. Just hosting costs -- which is kinda great, because that frees up other money for all the things I'd like to buy.

Do I need a PayPal account to donate?

No. There should be an option to 'click here if you do not have a PayPal account' that will allow you to use your credit card to donate, even if you do not have a PayPal account. You'll have to fill out some information, like you would for anything else you give your credit card information.

And, of course, since it's PayPal, there's no way I ever see any of that information.

Also 'of course, since it's PayPal,' there are small transaction fees taken out of what you give. Do not let that deter you from giving.

Questions about Other Website Stuff

Can I link to you?

I don't know, can you?

If you're capable of linking to me, you can. I'm not going to explain how you go about linking to someone -- that you can learn from The W3Schools Website.

You can use either EvilCoffeeChick.com or CoffeeChick.com, with or without the www. prefix. They both work. hunter.gremlin.net also works, but I'd prefer that you use either of the other two URLs.

Do you have any link graphics I can use?

Not at this time. I started working on trying to make one out of CoffeeThulhu, but it's being uncooperative and crazy-making. Quite proper for Cthulhu, but annoying when it comes to actually doing anything.

If I do ever make banners or graphics or buttons or whatever, I'll probably update this answer, and you can find them here.

Also, I'll request that you NOT directly link to the images themselves from my server, if and when they exist.

Why won't you let me directly link to your images?

Even though you may be an insignificant portion of my bandwidth, you're still taking a portion of my bandwidth. You are not paying for that bandwidth. Nor are you paying to store things on my server. Either do a text link, or download the picture and save it with proper crediting, and a link back to where you found it.

Why do you have a messageboard link when you don't have a messageboard? -or- Hey! That's someone else's messageboard! What the fuck do you think you're doing leeching off someone else like that?

I have a messageboard link because gremlin.net has a messageboard. I've been using the gremlin.net messageboard as a replacement for my own messageboard for quite some time, as I don't actually expect to draw enough of an audience to warrant my own 'forum-based-community-setup'.

I also don't actually need a messageboard, because my comments can be directly replied to -- they're threaded, like messageboards used to be.

And I'm not leeching. Same server here. Dumbass.

Where'd that list of searches go?

Not that anyone's actually asked this, but I'm answering it anyway. You can find the list of search words and phrases that've led people to my site here.

Can I be in the Idiot Archive?

Bored now. Go away.

What's with that stupid [at] and [dot] shit on your About Me page?

They're EMail addresses. You figure it out....

Other Questions

Wanna cyber?/u sex me/strip u penny slut.

No. No. No.

Why not?

Because I said so.

Why evilcoffeechick?

Because it was available.

Are you evil?

That's not really up to me....

What do you mean 'that's really not up to me'?

Evil, from what I understand, is based on 'morals'. Morals can vary from person to person, making it hard for me to say whether or not any given person would actually consider me evil. One person might consider me evil simply for not believing in their deity, while another is fine with that, but absolutely will not stand for my cheese preferences.

So I can't really tell you if I'm evil. You have to make up your own mind.

Why do you save chat transcripts and put them on your website? That's just lame.

So people can run back to their messageboard buddies and post about how they shouldn't message me because the transcripts might get posted by a loser who posts transcripts so they message me and post transcripts....

In other words: for your entertainment. If you don't like it, go somewhere else. Or don't. Sit there and complain about it and post links on other sites and drive people to my website. And when you're done with that, you might want to run around to chatrooms telling people how people in chatrooms have no lives....

What's a CoffeeChick?

Quite possibly the most frequently asked question. And I'm going to answer it for you as best as I can.

For starters, no, it has nothing to do with me working at a coffeeshoppe. So you can stop your oh-so-original quips now. I'm not going to get you coffee. I don't get anyone coffee. You're not clever or funny.

Secondly: no. I don't drink a lot of coffee. I barely even like it, considering that most people don't count anything with chocolate or ice or foamy stuff in it 'coffee'. I drink Coke.

The word 'coffeechick' is Gremlin's term. It's just what I happen to be, I suppose. I guess the best way to explain it is by quoting News of the Stoopid:

"Coffeechicks are those special crazychicks who you don't mind being near. They're attractive, and therefore not yuckymonsters; they're not quite libidonauts, but aren't merely huggers or performers; they're essentially just right, if completely barking mad. "