It's a broken toy. I took a picture of it because it was weird. I think it sets the tone nicely.

After the incident described in the previous post -- a couple of days after -- I ended up at Walgreens for some reason. Mostly because we were on that side of the street, and it was there. I saw this product there that I'd seen before, and just had to take a picture of it, because...it had to be done.

Y'know those annoying plastic packages? They're...annoying. More annoying is this recent trend of selling various products specially designed to open those strangely unopenable plastic packages. Because, y'know, scissors haven't been invented yet.

What's wrong with this picture?

Yes. It's a special cutting tool for opening those annoying plastic packages...contained within the exact sort of packaging it's designed to open.

If you buy one of these, I hope you have the self-awareness to feel very, very stupid while cutting it open with a pair of scissors. If not, please take yourself to the nearest medical facility and have yourself spayed or neutered.

Or, if you suspect pregnancy within the first 72 hours after having sex, you can stop by the Safeway near my house and pick up some Plan B. Because they have it. I discovered this [and took a picture of it] when acquiring some real Sudafed.

I think I'd have been more comfortable buying the Plan B, honestly. Buying the Sudafed made me feel like a criminal.

And, because every post should end with bacon....

Push button. Receive bacon. In your mouth. Also, possibly, up your nose. It's face-bacon.

Yeah, I know, it'd work better if the wavy lines were red. But I thought it was funny. I saw this in a Burger King bathroom.

Update: I think it's officially been named. It's the bacon launcher. That's what Sly called it.

Um, what?

Since it's hard to tell, that's for a keychain that...simulates? popping bubble wrap. Because, y'know, there's not enough bubble wrap or justifiable homicide in the world.

This one...I don't know, I guess it simulates that feeling you get when you open a mailer or a box of frozen stuff. Y'know, with the funny little pull thingy? Except it probably doesn't, unless it routinely breaks halfway through pulling, and then you have to dig around to find an edge unstuck enough to pull on again....

It gets better though. They also have a bubble wrap keychain that talks at you if you play with it enough. And one that simulates the pleasure of...soybeans.

I really, really don't know.

That is all.