I left my last therapy appointment with some paperwork about breathing exercises to derail anxiety [which only seem to work some of the time] and the beginnings of a very strange urge.

I didn’t quite have any idea what that urge was at the time, but it eventually came to me: I wanted new dogtags.

My old ones disappeared at some point. They were standard military issue, which makes me very nervous about the fact that they’ve disappeared…and they just didn’t identify me anyway. Not now.

The concept ran around the back of my mind for a little while until it settled on what it really wanted: new dogtags. And, instead of my SSN, I should use my library card number. The name will be Hunter. The religious preference will be Atheist.

I started googling for websites that made dogtags, and eventually settled on MyDogTag.com. They weren’t the cheapest [another site offered them for five dollars, and I bet I could’ve gone to a military surplus store and had them made for less], but they offered some good discounts, and they had something I didn’t know I wanted until I saw it: a tag that was imprinted with the shape of a classic NES controller.

Why, yes. That certainly identifies me.

It took me two more weeks to figure out what I wanted on them. The last thing? Blood type.

I don’t remember my blood type. At all. I know I could probably go find out, and that I probably should, maybe, some day, find out, but that seemed like an awful lot of effort for something that wasn’t really going to have any real identification on it. I pondered. I pondered a lot. I asked other people. People who’ve shown that they think like me, especially.

Eventually, I asked Gremlin. “Coke. Your blood type is Coke.”

The answer was so fucking obvious, nobody could see it.

I went with ‘caffeine’.

Which rounded out the standard tags nicely, but I really wanted those NES tags. And, since they have a different ‘printable’ area, I had to change things up a little. Name, number…URL, and then three hearts in the select/start area. There’s a reason for that, and some of you might know it.

And I labelled the buttons.

I ordered. And they arrived the same day as the emergency vet trip, so I didn’t post about them.

All four tags fit in the tin, which is nice. But that’s not what the tin is for.

Apparently, ordering two sets of tags [which include chains and silencers] and a tin qualified me for a bonus of some sort, because I didn’t order that other thing [the thing that’s attached to my NFC keychain that allows me to easily switch to ‘I have left the house, please make my phone work outside the house’ mode without having to hunt blindly or find a dark area].

The free gift I wasn’t expecting.

It’s a pill container. It’s a very useful free gift. I filled it with pills that I couldn’t otherwise carry with me.

The tags themselves came in that tin. I had other plans for that tin.

You never know when you’re going to need eyes.

Obviously. It’s me. What’d you expect?

So, now I have two new sets of tags that are more me than the old, missing ones. I can’t really explain why they’re me. They’re part who I am now, part who I was, part who I hope to find again.

Knowing who you are is probably important.

If I ever need more tags, I will most likely go back to MyDogTag.com. They were prompt, there was zero fuss about the ‘atheist’ thing [even today, you never know when that’s going to be a problem], and, hey, they have a pot leaf tag for people who want something like that.

As a side note: yes, I did blur a few of the digits of the library card number. I have reasons, largely related to a certain persistent stalker that I share with a friend on Facebook. There isn’t much information you can get with the number alone, even if you know the number and the library district [which I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned here]. It’s attached to a secret address, but a determined person could figure that out and find exactly the right portion of the right app on the right platform that would lead directly to things I do not want him to know.

That’s a pretty good reason. Also, once the library’s forgotten that I bothered them about a bug, I might have to contact them about that little issue, because it really does feel like a major security hole in their login system.

I know, I know: what’s he gonna do, find out what I read? Borrow some ebooks? Ooh. Scary. Can’t even rack up a fine that way, since he can’t trigger a fine without having my actual card and going to the actual library and checking out actual things. But, well, I like to keep certain pieces of information secure.

Obviously, what I read is not one of those things, since I have an account on GoodReads.

You can probably figure out who I am there, if you’re interested.