Paraboring Inactivity

Don’t bother.

Seriously, don’t bother. And, speaking of not bothering, I’m not going to bother with ‘spoiler warnings’ [as if I ever do], because the trailer already spoils the ending.

I’m not kidding.

If you are going to see it, rent it and get the rifftrax. Because that’s the only way you can survive the incredible boredom.
Continue reading

Conclusion: Tweenporn

This should be my last post on the subject. I’m not as sadistic as you might think – I could subject you to Midnight Sun, but…I won’t.

Instead, I’m just going to…talk about this…mad, gibbering horror of a series. Get it out of my system; say a few things I forgot to cover in the…well, they’re not reviews, are they? And they’re too long to be called summaries. I don’t know what they are any more.

See, I can’t review things. I’m either ‘that sucked’ or ‘play by play of suck’. I haven’t found a proper balance, and I probably never will. It’s something I just can’t be good at.

Who cares, though? This is my website. I’ll put stuff here, and, if it displeases you, that’s really not my problem. I’m actually comfy with sitting here, rambling to myself.

If you do want to read them, you should probably read them in order. Here, have a list:
Continue reading

Breaking Dawn: Book Three

Finally. Last one. It’ll all be over soon.

No longer just a nightmare, the line of black advanced on us through the icy mist stirred
up by their feet.

We’re going to die, I thought in panic. I was desperate for the precious one I guarded, but even to think of that was a lapse in attention I could not afford.

They ghosted closer, their dark robes billowing slightly with the movement. I saw their hands curl into bone-colored claws. They drifted apart, angling to come at us from all sides. We were outnumbered. It was over.

And then, like a burst of light from a flash, the whole scene was different. Yet nothing changed—the Volturi still stalked toward us, poised to kill. All that really changed was how the picture looked to me. Suddenly, I was hungry for it. I wanted them to charge. The panic changed to bloodlust as I crouched forward, a smile on my face, and a growl ripped through my bared teeth.

Breaking Dawn Book Three Prologue

We get to relive the birthing from the last book, but from Bella’s perspective. She’s bewildered by the pain. So are we; we’d like it to end. Death? Kthxbai.
Continue reading