{"id":1146,"date":"2009-08-16T02:17:46","date_gmt":"2009-08-16T09:17:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/main\/?p=1146"},"modified":"2013-02-23T03:54:57","modified_gmt":"2013-02-23T03:54:57","slug":"how-to-make-money-on-the-internet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/2009\/08\/16\/how-to-make-money-on-the-internet\/","title":{"rendered":"How to make money on the internet."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ever since the Trainwrecks website went down, I&#8217;ve had to dig for my e-drama.  It can be hard finding the good stuff, but, sometimes, it just falls right into your lap.<\/p>\n<p>Like the &#8216;MckDrama&#8217; currently going on right now.  Which leads me directly to the title of this post.  <i>How to make money on the internet.<\/i><br \/>\n<!--more--><br \/>\nIn any order, you get a blog, have a bunch of kids, and take pictures of them.  It&#8217;s recommended that you claim all manner of opinions and positions &#8212; christian, submissive wife [call your husband Prince Charming], extended breastfeeding, babywearing, organic food eating, delayed or anti-vaxing, and so on.<\/p>\n<p>Then, if you notice that you&#8217;re not getting as many hits as your fellow mommybloggers, have a <i>sick<\/i> kid.  A very sick kid.  If you can&#8217;t, <i>fake it<\/i>.  Embellish.  A lot.  Post dramatic updates about the sick kid.  The hits will come rolling in.<\/p>\n<p>Also, you&#8217;ll get donations.  You&#8217;ll get people to pay for your hotel rooms and massages at that hotel while your sick kid is in the hospital in a different town.<\/p>\n<p>If you allow comments, moderate them heavily.  Don&#8217;t allow questioning; only adoring comments.  If anyone does question you, track them down and send them nasty emails.<\/p>\n<p>And, if someone starts doubting you because the pictures you posted of your sick kid during a medical procedure show numbers on the medical equipment that don&#8217;t match what you&#8217;re saying [among other things], let your visitors post comments threatening bodily harm to those &#8216;evil&#8217; people who dare doubt you.<\/p>\n<p>It also helps to insert yourself into the media &#8212; especially if you can insert yourself into some <i>other<\/i> e-drama that exploded into the general public [like, say, a person who faked their own pregnancy, and gained a lot of attention online].<\/p>\n<p>Yes.  This is really all happening.  Even more entertainingly, the &#8216;doubters&#8217; I mentioned, those evil, evil thinking people who dare question what they&#8217;re seeing?  Someone filed a police report on them.  Which is slightly unwise, when all the threats are coming from the alleged threatened party&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m not entirely sure what prompted the police report, exactly.  It could&#8217;ve been a number of things.  The commenters at the <a href=\"http:\/\/overmckmama.blogspot.com\/\">&#8216;doubting&#8217; blog<\/a> dug up a lot of public information using nothing more than what &#8216;MckMama&#8217; posted on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mycharmingkids.net\/\">her own blog<\/a>.  Public information like, say, her husband&#8217;s arrest record for domestic violence.<\/p>\n<p>And, of course, people are outraged.  Because they look up to MckMama, and these are all just dirty, dirty lies.  Until she admits that they&#8217;re not.  But they&#8217;re still bad people, so let&#8217;s threaten them!  How dare they <i>question!<\/i><\/p>\n<p>How dare they <i>think<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>The internet is a Thought-Free Zone.  So, go forth.  Make money.  And, if anyone dares think, let your loyal flock attack them.  If you&#8217;re lucky, you&#8217;ll have a flock of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0779982\/\">Black Sheep<\/a>, and they&#8217;ll take care of it for you instead of eating you alive.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ever since the Trainwrecks website went down, I&#8217;ve had to dig for my e-drama. It can be hard finding the good stuff, but, sometimes, it just falls right into your lap. Like the &#8216;MckDrama&#8217; currently going on right now. Which &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/2009\/08\/16\/how-to-make-money-on-the-internet\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[69,70],"class_list":["post-1146","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bib","tag-e-detectivery","tag-e-drama"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3bMfN-iu","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1146","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1146"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1146\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1721,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1146\/revisions\/1721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1146"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1146"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1146"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}