{"id":1364,"date":"2010-10-12T18:57:47","date_gmt":"2010-10-12T18:57:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/main\/?p=1364"},"modified":"2013-02-23T03:31:09","modified_gmt":"2013-02-23T03:31:09","slug":"youll-find-some-interesting-facts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/2010\/10\/12\/youll-find-some-interesting-facts\/","title":{"rendered":"You’ll find some interesting facts."},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m not dead. I’m sure that disappoints a few people, but I’m like that. I just haven’t had anything worth posting about. But, hey, $.78 spent a few months ago solved that.
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\n<\/p>\n

Yes. I’m turning to store brand Mac&Cheese [in funny shapes!] for posting material.<\/p>\n

But…wow. Really. This is just…wow.<\/p>\n

I’m going to stretch this out as long as I can, so…lots of images. Also, I kinda used google and wikipedia for a few things, so if some of the dates are wrong…it’s not like I’m actively doing the SCIENCE! over here. But I doubt I’m as wrong as…well, you’ll see.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

More than? Okay, I’ll go with true, since, hell, who really knows when they first showed up. Wikipedia says 230, and there were 250 million year old trackways found that are dinosaur-like. The word ‘dinosauromorph’ is used, anyway…and, y’know what? Let’s stop there for a minute….<\/p>\n

Because, seriously, what the fuck is that thing in the picture? It looks like the unholy offspring of a unicorn and a Dimetrodon. Or a narwhal and…yeah, that’d be unholier, wouldn’t it?<\/p>\n

The box claims it’s a Triceratops, but…really? What, did you decide to skip the nose horn, and throw the neck frill on the back?<\/p>\n

The box also says:
\n<\/p>\n

We agree. On the answer, at least, but not the naming of the macaroni shape.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Stegosaurus? Tyrannosaurus rex? What? No. False.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

WHAT?<\/p>\n

Stegosaurus fossils show up between 150 and 145 million years ago. Tyrannosaurus rex has a rather lousy 67-65.5 million years ago. A T. rex eating a Stegosaurus is about as likely as Pyramid Head raping…no, he’d do that. Okay, how about…’about as likely as a Stegosaurus eating a T. rex.’ Does that work for you?<\/p>\n

Do you know something that SCIENCE! doesn’t know, generic mac&cheese box printers? Or did you just see an Allosaurus and think ‘OH! It’s a Tee-Rex!’ and figure that was good enough? The kids eating this crap know more than you.<\/p>\n

As for the animal asking the question, I’ll let you guess….<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

If this isn’t ‘false’, there are going to be angry letters.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Okay. Good. That’s two for you, and three for me. And that up there? They’ve called it ‘T-Rex’.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

False.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

You know what? Fuck you.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

See that? That’s a walnut. And that’s either a cast or a recreation of the brain of a Stegosaurus stenops<\/i>. Please note how incredibly not the same size they are. This is not covered by ‘about’. There is no ‘about’ here. Just shut the fuck up, you are wrong. And you’re a sorry excuse for an Apatosaurus, which is sad.<\/p>\n

What’s that, two for them, four for me?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Hahahahaha. It’s like the Stegosaurus is trying to get back at the Apatosaurus. And, do I really need to dignify this with an answer?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This doesn’t save you, you know. This doesn’t save you at all.<\/p>\n

Why? Because I got five, and you got two, and you’re the fucking answer key<\/i>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m not dead. I’m sure that disappoints a few people, but I’m like that. I just haven’t had anything worth posting about. But, hey, $.78 spent a few months ago solved that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,23],"tags":[89,101,10,148,162,177,183],"class_list":["post-1364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bib","category-with-images","tag-idiots","tag-lulz","tag-people-are-stupid","tag-scans","tag-stupidity","tag-weird","tag-wrongness"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3bMfN-m0","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1364","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1364"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1364\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1680,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1364\/revisions\/1680"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}