{"id":1460,"date":"2011-06-26T03:48:45","date_gmt":"2011-06-26T10:48:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/main\/?p=1430"},"modified":"2013-02-23T03:26:46","modified_gmt":"2013-02-23T03:26:46","slug":"wtf-nature-1-this-thing-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/2011\/06\/26\/wtf-nature-1-this-thing-2\/","title":{"rendered":"WTF NATURE? 1. This Thing."},"content":{"rendered":"

A while back, possibly before getting distracted by copyright douchebaggery<\/a> and the Process Server Who Wasn’t, I threatened to maybe someday start an occasional series called ‘WTF, NATURE?’<\/p>\n

Thanks to the distractions, I haven’t exactly worked everything out yet. Important things like, ‘exactly how do I structure the post title?’ and, ‘how is this going to work, anyway?’<\/p>\n

Well, screw planning, and screw the original launching with the Platypus, because I found something else. Something I can’t even fucking identify.
\n
\n<\/p>\n

This thing. This fucking thing.<\/p>\n

I happened to catch a glimpse of it in Microcosmos, and it took me forever to track down a picture of it because I have no fucking clue what it is<\/i>, beyond ‘caterpillar’.<\/p>\n

A very weird caterpillar. I mean, look at it! It’s wearing a hoodie! It’s a hoodie caterpillar. Why the fuck is this caterpillar wearing a hoodie, Nature? Is this a stage that all caterpillars go through? The weird, rebellious, hoodie-wearing stage? Do they hide their earbuds under that thing so they can ignore the authority figures that are totally keeping them down and not respecting the fact that they’re right about everything? Does this hoodie have an epic pocket that can fit, like, twenty or thirty of its eighty-bajillion legs?<\/p>\n

I think these are important questions…if you happen to be the sort of insane person who looks at nature and goes WTF?<\/p>\n

Before I go any further, I should explain something here. This is in no way an argument for creationism or creation science or intelligent design or whatever the fuck they’ve decided to call it since the last courtroom smackdown. [Personally? I vote for Cdesign Proponentism or Breathtaking Inanity.] This is simply me, looking at nature, accepting that things evolve, and suddenly doing a double-take and being compelled to say ‘WTF, NATURE? SRSLY, WTF?’<\/p>\n

Because this goddamn caterpillar appears to be wearing a hoodie. Go ahead, tell me it’s not [and yes, I totally get that it’s not actually<\/i> wearing a hoodie, but shut up]. You can’t, because you see it too.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And now you see this. Ha ha.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A while back, possibly before getting distracted by copyright douchebaggery and the Process Server Who Wasn’t, I threatened to maybe someday start an occasional series called ‘WTF, NATURE?’ Thanks to the distractions, I haven’t exactly worked everything out yet. Important … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,23],"tags":[184],"class_list":["post-1460","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-somewhat-regular-things","category-with-images","tag-wtf-nature"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3bMfN-ny","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1460","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1460"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1460\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1671,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1460\/revisions\/1671"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1460"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1460"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1460"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}