{"id":2837,"date":"2015-05-14T19:31:27","date_gmt":"2015-05-15T01:31:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/?p=2837"},"modified":"2015-05-14T19:36:16","modified_gmt":"2015-05-15T01:36:16","slug":"i-did-a-thing-a-lot-of-things-actually","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/2015\/05\/14\/i-did-a-thing-a-lot-of-things-actually\/","title":{"rendered":"I did a thing.  A lot of things, actually."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s actually been a very busy few days.  Busy damn month, really.  I spent a weekend trying to fix a thoroughly virused computer, which actually involved letting 8.1 download overnight because, seriously, it took that long.   Then, my phone broke.  Really broke.  Like, no more phone broke.<\/p>\n<p>Which is where my adventure started.  <\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Well, kinda.  This was more of a side-quest, really.  Totally optional.  But I&#8217;m pretty sure it resulted in me making the tech support guy very confused and uncomfortable.<\/p>\n<p>In the middle of straightening out the whole phone mess, I noticed that the store had the router that <a href=\"http:\/\/thewirecutter.com\/reviews\/best-wi-fi-router\/\">wirecutter.com<\/a> mentioned as a &#8216;crazy deal&#8217;, and even recommended for those who could get it, kind of.  And, hey, I was actually noticing some issues with our current router.  And that price really is pretty good, and it really isn&#8217;t terrible&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>So, I went for it.<\/p>\n<p>I get it home.  I get it set up. Everything is good.  Mostly.  <\/p>\n<p>Mostly good, mostly set up.  I can&#8217;t quite get my quaint attempt at network-attached storage working on it, and there&#8217;s fuck-all for documentation available for this thing, because it&#8217;s a slightly stripped, slightly rebranded thing and holy shit Google is just not helping me at all.  But we&#8217;re online, at least.  <\/p>\n<p>And I suddenly have other shit to do.  Like, out of nowhere, everything at once.  A friend would like the header image replaced on their site with a slightly different one [<a href=\"http:\/\/deophagy.com\">You should check them out<\/a>, but don&#8217;t judge the site too harshly. I tried, and there are some complex things I&#8217;m trying to work out].  <\/p>\n<p>Another friend wondered if I&#8217;d be willing to help out with something I&#8217;d <i>never even done before oh shit<\/i> at the same time.  <\/p>\n<p>Naturally, I got to the second one first, because the first one?  I didn&#8217;t even have Photoshop installed, and that shit takes so much time and probably a reboot or three.  <\/p>\n<p>So, network storage? You get to wait.  And learning about VPNs can wait, too, because I&#8217;m going on an adventure!<\/p>\n<p>And it totally was.  Because that friend?  Well, she&#8217;s kinda brilliant and amazing, and, unexpected third quality you don&#8217;t often find: able to combine them into a cunning sort of &#8216;teaching without teaching&#8217;.  Over Facebook Messenger [via the shittiest possible screenshots&#8211;actual photos taken of the screen with my phone], she taught me how to set up a server.  On a USB drive.  Like, with PHP and mySQL.  <\/p>\n<p>Then, she helped me figure out how to get Android Studio running, and talking to my phone.  And just cut me loose to see if I could figure out the &#8216;make things look this way&#8217; part.  <\/p>\n<p>I played with that for a bit.  Then, I got really hungry and sleepy all at once, possibly because I&#8217;d brained harder than usual.  <\/p>\n<p>I think I ate something.  I know I passed the fuck out.  <\/p>\n<p>When I woke up, my nicely working network was, well&#8230;not.  It was still nice.  It was kinda working.  It was not communicating with the outside world.<\/p>\n<p>And those fuckers at Comcast still don&#8217;t understand that I&#8217;m supposed to be allowed to use their convenient &#8216;what fresh hell is this&#8217; management app that I think lets me see if the network is down and trigger modem refreshes and shit.<\/p>\n<p><i>sigh<\/i> <\/p>\n<p><i>grumble<\/i>You fucking&#8230;I just woke up.  I&#8217;m in the middle of <i>all<\/i> the things, I haven&#8217;t had soda yet.  I&#8217;m like&#8230;tail end of the Dresden Files series again and I&#8217;d really rather be listening to James Marsters read that shit while I try to learn shit that people at least half my age are doing with no effort and&#8230;now I have to deal with this.  And I know I&#8217;m gonna be getting blamed for this somehow, even though I&#8217;m pretty sure I was legally comatose when it happened. <\/p>\n<p>Good thing I&#8217;m in my <a href=\"http:\/\/www.aliexpress.com\/store\/product\/Women-s-batgirl-female-spaghetti-strap-one-piece-dress-costume-plus-size-nightgown-pajamas-clothing-for\/525986_2026954095.html\">BatGirl PJs<\/a> [what? I don&#8217;t care what it&#8217;s supposed to be.  It was sleepwear-adjacent in WalMart and it&#8217;s actually really comfy for sleep].  It&#8217;ll clash with the theme music I&#8217;m gonna need, but&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p><i>Mission Impossible Theme<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>Here we go.  I&#8217;m in the fancy wire rig.  Let&#8217;s lower me into my goddamn account so I can see what&#8217;s going on without&#8230;fuck, there goes security.  I guess I&#8217;m gonna have to shoot my way in or something.  <\/p>\n<p>Yeah, I&#8217;m a terrible spy, and an abysmal BatGirl.<\/p>\n<p>And I&#8217;m apparently up against Daleks and Cybermen here.  It&#8217;s like the fandom box got tipped over and nobody cleaned up.  <\/p>\n<p>So, business as usual.  <\/p>\n<p>Basically, what I&#8217;m trying to convey is that it was unreasonably hard to do something that Comcast brags about making easy.  I got in, got the reboot signal sent.  <\/p>\n<p>No good.<\/p>\n<p>Try again.<\/p>\n<p>Well, that did something.  It pushed everything off the fucking network.  <\/p>\n<p>I cannot find an appropriately sarcastic Archer &#8216;Hooray&#8217; for this moment. Because this means I have to go fuck around with the actual hardware instead of remotely doing it.  Because I can no longer access it from any device.<\/p>\n<p>Godfuckingdamnit.  <\/p>\n<p>I go.  I reset.  I reboot.  I cast some fucking runes.  I make sure the salt lines are unbroken, just in case there&#8217;s some fucked up spiritual element I need to ward off.<\/p>\n<p>I consider pre-setting an angelic banishment.  Just in case.  <\/p>\n<p>I ready the required sacrificial goats.<\/p>\n<p>Comcast suggests that I have fucked up, and that I should really, really not have more than one device on the internet&#8211;and certainly not through anything that they aren&#8217;t charging me an extra rental fee for, oh no.<\/p>\n<p>Motherfucking serenity now.<\/p>\n<p>On second thought: fuck that.  Time to go nuclear.<\/p>\n<p>I ditch their unhelpful bullshit and pull all the plugs.  <\/p>\n<p>And the battery.<\/p>\n<p>And I waited.  <\/p>\n<p>Maybe I made some offerings.  <\/p>\n<p>Then, I put everything back together.<\/p>\n<p>Network is back.  Hooray.<\/p>\n<p>Lights are green.<\/p>\n<p>Still no internet.  Not even directly. <\/p>\n<p>Fuck it.  I&#8217;m out of ideas.  I only have one weapon left, and it&#8217;s pathetic. Win-R, cmd<br \/>\nipconfig \/release<br \/>\nipconfig \/renew<\/p>\n<p>Oh.<\/p>\n<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/i.imgur.com\/wAmPLid.gif\"><\/center><\/p>\n<p>While I&#8217;m there, I decide to try one last thing to get the network storage working.<\/p>\n<p>I move the USB plug from the 3.0 slot to the boring old 2.0 slot.<\/p>\n<p>See the above gif.  Because guess what?<\/p>\n<p>Yeah.  That shit worked, too.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I&#8217;d been chatting with T-Mobile off and on about this and other issues.  And&#8230;I got back in touch with them today about it.  Well, about other things.<\/p>\n<p>The other things?  Kinda sum them up with: Transparency in policy changes regarding discounts is an absolute must, you guys.  Do not change this shit on me without telling me.  Text me or something&#8211;you have my number.  Email me.  Send me a letter.  <i>Something<\/i>.  <\/p>\n<p>Please.<\/p>\n<p>And maybe make these special circumstances a little more clear in your system so that the people at the point of sale can aid in this whole transparency thing.  I would like to know how plan changes will change these things.  <\/p>\n<p>Seriously.  Communication.  You&#8217;re doing fairly well at it [unless you&#8217;re the Sunday evening web chat guys&#8211;holy shit, English was not your first language].  I just&#8230;would like a little <i>more<\/i> if that&#8217;s okay?<\/p>\n<p>In the interest of communication, I decided to update them on the problem they weren&#8217;t able to help me with.  And, in the interest of further communication, I decided to actually call them after I was done with the online chat.<\/p>\n<p>Which brings us to the end of this little side quest, and the achievements I unlocked.<\/p>\n<p>Achievement Unlocked: FIRST!!!1 Be, apparently, the first person to call about this problem.<\/p>\n<p>Achievement Unlocked: Um&#8230;. Make tech support guy very uncomfortable by hitting him with something he has no script for.<\/p>\n<p>Yay for me, I guess. <\/p>\n<p>Now, I admit that I&#8217;m just terrible at the whole phone thing.  And that I kinda went in a bit prepared.  I hit him with several things, all at once.  &#8220;Here is my specific and strange issue.  Is this a known issue? Could it be something that will be fixed with the next firmware update&#8211;if there is one? How likely do you think it is that a T-Mobile store will allow me to test a router they have in the store?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I think it was the last one.  Because, apparently, the proper procedure here is &#8216;we give you a shipping label, and you send the router back to us and wait for us to send you another one.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>I guess &#8216;store&#8217; is undefined, and calling it is just&#8230;really unexpected.  <\/p>\n<p>But whatever.  I got to be semi-competent at something while wasting a lot of time.  And it&#8217;s hardly an emergency.  <\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m all caught up on everything.  <\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve thought up a few more tests, assuming I can find viable test subjects.  <\/p>\n<p>And, I got a blog post out of it.  A really long, rambling, disjointed one.  <\/p>\n<p>So I wasted <i>your<\/i> time, too!<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re welcome.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s actually been a very busy few days. Busy damn month, really. I spent a weekend trying to fix a thoroughly virused computer, which actually involved letting 8.1 download overnight because, seriously, it took that long. Then, my phone broke. &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/2015\/05\/14\/i-did-a-thing-a-lot-of-things-actually\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[242,63,239,240,244,238,241,232,243],"class_list":["post-2837","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bib","tag-comcast","tag-customer-service","tag-fandom","tag-nerd","tag-network","tag-reading","tag-tech-support","tag-things-i-did","tag-xfinity"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3bMfN-JL","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2837","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2837"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2837\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2839,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2837\/revisions\/2839"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2837"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2837"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2837"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}