{"id":594,"date":"2007-10-07T03:02:33","date_gmt":"2007-10-07T10:02:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/main\/2007\/10\/the-usps-sucks"},"modified":"2013-02-23T05:18:50","modified_gmt":"2013-02-23T05:18:50","slug":"the-usps-sucks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/2007\/10\/07\/the-usps-sucks\/","title":{"rendered":"The USPS sucks."},"content":{"rendered":"

And I’m not the only person who thinks so.<\/a>.
\n
\nRight now, I’m mentally cursing my ‘letter carrier’ and all his and\/or her superiors, wishing thousands of horrible papercuts on them for completely skipping my house on Saturday. I can’t wait to see what sort of snide excuse is going to be scribbled on my mail this time<\/i>. “You parked your car in front of your mailbox” maybe? Except I have a garage, morons. Car’s in there<\/i>, lazy fuck. And don’t tell me you can’t get out of your truck due to ‘regulations’, because you do it all the time. You abandoned my Netflix, and failed to deliver my next Netflix – which, by the way, you absolutely fucked up by not getting them sent out together last time<\/i>.<\/p>\n

And you’ve made my prescription late, so I’m cranky<\/i>. Because there’s no mail on Sunday, because you’re all afraid that people will spend time at the post office instead of church. And there’s no mail on Monday, because someone didn’t discover a landmass.<\/p>\n

I wouldn’t be surprised if Netflix, in an attempt to keep your sticky-fingered mailpersons<\/i> from lifting more of their<\/i> property and upsetting their<\/i> customers, just hire their own to do the deliveries specially.<\/p>\n

Yeah, I know, it’s not fair. One day without the mail working the way it’s supposed to, and I get upset. But, seriously, how fucking hard is it to do that one simple little job that they do? It’s ONE LITTLE JOB. You take the mail from point A to point B. It’s not like point B requires you to thread a needle on Mars. There are no launch windows, and machines do most of the work for you. If you can’t do it, step aside and let someone else drive around your stupid metal cartruck, and stick those bits of paper into little slots.<\/p>\n

And if you can’t stand letting a netflix envelope pass you by without swiping it? A subscription is under $20. for three at a time unlimited. And they get cheaper from there. Get your own account, and stop fucking with ours. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And I’m not the only person who thinks so..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[172],"class_list":["post-594","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bib","tag-usps"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3bMfN-9A","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=594"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1866,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594\/revisions\/1866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=594"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=594"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.coffeechick.com\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=594"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}