Or perhaps just a depressing sign of how bad our schools really are….<\/p>\n
I got this…thing<\/i> in the mail. I think it may’ve actually been addressed to Gremlin, but since I only saw the street address [and I own the house]…well, oops?
\n
\nThe envelope said “FOM YOUR FAVORITE STUDENT”, and seems to have been postmarked in Des Moines, Iowa…which is very strange, because a lot of the other stuff has to do with Colorado. Except the return envelope, which leads to the FAMILY READING PROGRAM QSP, INC. PO BOX 10895 DES MOINES IA 50366-0895.<\/p>\n
Most prominent among the envelope contents is this seemingly pre-filled-out order form that reads:<\/p>\n
Dear [blank]
\nPlease help by ordering or renewing your favorite magazines. You’ll receive substantial savings off newsstand prices.<\/p>\nOrder today and my school or group can keep 40 cents of every subscription dollar.
\nPlease help if you can.
\nTHANKS!
\nFrom [handwritten] trevor
\nP.S. [handwritten] hcld my school.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nI guess maybe that last line is ‘help my school’, but I can’t really tell.<\/p>\n
I’m also not sure exactly how this ended up in my mailbox, since my perfectly addressed Netflix sometimes goes awry. My street name is split into two words, and the second seems to have been translated into a foreign language and back again, into ‘fido’. And the city seems to be missing an R.<\/p>\n
Scariest about this is that, under the “DO NOT WRITE IN THIS AREA” block that reads “HORIZON CMTY MIDDLE SCHOOL”, there’s a few lines that read:<\/p>\n
Student’s Name [handwritten] Tr[somethigsomething]O[something], School\/Group Name [handwritten]horizon Grade\/group # [again] 7 grade.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
A seventh grader can’t spell my street? Or my city? What the hell? I think it’s time to focus less on pointless magazine sales, and more on FUCKING LEARNING. Holy shit<\/i>.<\/p>\n
The rest of the contents of the envelope are scarier. I’ll have to scan them later, when I’m more awake and Zombi isn’t so hungry. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Or perhaps just a depressing sign of how bad our schools really are…. I got this…thing in the mail. I think it may’ve actually been addressed to Gremlin, but since I only saw the street address [and I own the … Continue reading