New term. It’s mine. I totally just made it up, like, two days ago.
A live-in vagina is a female who is both having sex with you and lives with you. A live-in vagina is not a wife. If you marry it, it stops being your live-in vagina — and, according to some, stops providing sex.
Apparently, there’s a thing going on for the internet ‘in crowd’ — a group I’m very proudly not a part of. I do not want to know these people. Ever.
No. I’m not being a bitter outsider. I just really, seriously don’t want to have a faux e-friendship with anyone who pimps their baby to the fucking internet for cash donations, ads, and potential freebies from various companies.
And I really, really don’t want to be known by anyone who has the balls to complain that they were turned away from an evening, invite-only cocktail party for having a baby with them.
What sort of fucking idiot takes a baby to a cocktail party anyway?
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I went to bed this morning at around five, intending to sleep until noon, and wake up to take care of a few things. That…didn’t exactly go according to plan.
I think I managed to get to sleep at around six. Then, fifteen minutes later, Zombi made that noise. I’m sure you know the noise, if you’ve ever owned a cat. The ‘I’m in pain. I’m in a lot of pain. I’d really like it to stop now. Oh, the pain I’m in. Why am I in pain?’ noise that’s much, much worse than the ‘You’ve stepped on me. Please don’t do that.’ noise.
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