The elevator was full, so the man decided to wait for the next one. Every safety device failed spectacularly, and everyone in the elevator died.

The man wasn’t saved, though. He died very soon after, because he never took the stairs and had really high cholesterol.

The oldest story in the world.

Boy meets girl. They wed and have kids. Proud daddy teaches his sons how to swim and fish.

By turning into alligators.

What? How did you learn to swim and catch fish?

“An awful thing happens every night. A witch turns me into a horse and rides me all over the countryside.”

“I’ll sleep in your bed tonight,” his friend said, thinking, that is my fetish.