I kinda forgot: the light switch was replaced without any serious issue, although I still get twitchy if anything smells even remotely like burning.
For example: I came home last night to the faintest smell of ‘smells like wood burning’, and I had to check absolutely everywhere. It was probably a smell that drifted in from one of the neighbours having a little fire outside.
Yesterday, though….
So, I woke up at one. That’s one strike against me, for sure.
But I had this crazy idea that I should do something responsible and adult, just to see if I could handle it.
I couldn’t have picked a worse thing, because holy fuck is this a mess.
…do I feel like shit for using a medication in the way it was intended?
So, I’m an anxious mess, on top of being depressed. I’ve talked about that before. And it gets bad. Curled up on the floor, not even the most empathetic cat in the world can help me bad. Shaking is low-level for me. Full on? We’re looking at dry heaves and fainting, which, according to a lot of things I’ve read about panic attacks, shouldn’t even be possible.
So, yeah, it shouldn’t be a surprise that, most times, even on not-so-down days, I avoid leaving the house, because having a full-on panic attack out there is terrible. Humiliating. Just plain bad.