Why, exactly…

…do I feel like shit for using a medication in the way it was intended?

So, I’m an anxious mess, on top of being depressed. I’ve talked about that before. And it gets bad. Curled up on the floor, not even the most empathetic cat in the world can help me bad. Shaking is low-level for me. Full on? We’re looking at dry heaves and fainting, which, according to a lot of things I’ve read about panic attacks, shouldn’t even be possible.

So, yeah, it shouldn’t be a surprise that, most times, even on not-so-down days, I avoid leaving the house, because having a full-on panic attack out there is terrible. Humiliating. Just plain bad.

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I’ve done so much in the past three days….

More than I’ve done in quite a while, actually. And it was all rather surprising, in that I actually managed to do it.

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Uneventful

Nothing much has happened since my last post.

The switch was replaced without incident. Then, nothing happened, in the sense of the light began operating as intended. That was it.

I haven’t been able to focus on much of anything else, though. I’ve got an appointment on Monday, and I’m already starting to panic about it. Also, there’s an appointment at the end of the week.

Really, the least anxiety inducing portion of the upcoming block of time that is ‘later’ is the fact that a formerly-local friend and a formerly-chat friend are moving out here, and I’ve volunteered to help.

So, yeah. Brain’s too full to write anything.