I haven’t had much to say lately. Or, maybe I have, but nothing that couldn’t be summed up in a few sentences when I actually had access to something that would let me post here.
I’m going to put some effort into changing that, though, if I can.
Effort’s something that’s way too effort-like for me. And…oh, hell, I don’t know how to explain this. Maybe I should talk a little bit about other stuff.
I have real, authentic Major Depression. The sort that isn’t fixed with ‘cheer up’, or even ‘cheer up’ in pill form. It’s helped a little by therapy and constant supervision to make sure I don’t forget to do things that normal people do in their daily routine [bathing, laundry-related-tasks, cleaning, eating]. It came bundled with anxiety, which probably made it a pretty good deal. Unfortunately, there’s a strict No Returns policy.
And it’s been kinda bad lately.
I was maintaining a pretty steady ‘zero energy pit of apathy I don’t want to move’ low when I found out my mental health doctor was retiring. I found this out when calling in for a new prescription for the stuff I [very occasionally] take for the anxiety issues.
I needed that new prescription because I knew there’d be moments where I’d need it, because we’ve acquired a roommate. Nothing against the roommate — he’s quiet, rarely here, and doesn’t seem to be judging the mess-that-is-me too harshly, even when I want to eat the same takeout twenty-seven days in a row.
I could go on a little more about the roommate situation [why it came about, and whatnot], but it’s not about me, no matter how much the little voices keep fretting about potentially losing friends.
I’m not exactly handling coherence or transitions very well right now. Damn.
Anyway, all that happened, but that was recent. So I guess it’s not a great excuse.
Also, Gremlin’s computer died, and he’s been sitting behind me using a netbook, and that makes me not want to do anything, because I don’t much like being watched while I’m trying to do something. Nagging feeling of insta-judgement of an unfinished whatever.
Then there’s the fact that my DS Lite is broken beyond my ability to repair it, and my 360 is in Red Ring Repair Limbo, and…yeah. This is a post from the Standard List of Blog Posts. #3. Whining.
I also feel like I should mention that I never reach the apathy=invincibility stage in that post on Hyperbole and a Half. I kinda wish I could. Everything else sounds about right, though. So just go read that — it’s a much better blog than mine.
I did just put up a sticky dry erase dot right here, so I could write down ideas as they come to me. Maybe having it there will remind me to do them. I don’t know.
It’s a pretty short list right now. A post about one of the things my mom gave me for Giftmas. Those reviews of what I’m calling ‘Pink Box’ DS games [the ones marketed directly to adults buying gifts for little girls]. The WTF nature stuff. A new thing involving a new app I got for my cellphone that has the potential to be funny [at least, to me]. Also, the strangest urge to do another series of posts in which I ‘review/report on’ books.
Some of these things might rely on finding out if people want me to do any of them. Especially the book thing. The main temptation right there involves a couple of ‘novelisations’ [movies turned into books, y’know?], the Resident Evil books, and…actually, I’ve kinda wanted to go through Harry Potter, even though a thousand other people already have.
So…I guess we’ll see if I’m back here any time soon.