I was going to do a post about something else, but it’s going to take a while. There’s going to be images — might even be stuff I drew.
But I’m not.
I’m also not doing any of the other post ideas I have lined up.
Instead, I’m procrastinating. And I’m posting about it.
Procrastination is one of my biggest problems. I’d say it ranks about…actually, let me figure that out. I think the list goes ‘depression, anxiety, that issue with the spiders, being hopelessly disorganized, a complete lack of trust….
Okay, it might actually be my biggest problem, because, right there, I put off actually getting to it.
I will actually put off eating, if I haven’t forgotten about it entirely. Unless I can use eating as a way to procrastinate.
See, right now, I’m supposed to be working on something. Gremlin wrote a thing and decreed that I would illustrate it. And I was getting right on that, until I wasn’t.
Because it occurred to me that I needed to post something to my website sometime soon, because it’d been a few days.
Did I have an idea? Yes. But I was going to need a photo. And, for that, I’d need socks.
And, by the way, how am I going to get this photo off my phone? Other than the obvious ways of either hooking it up to my computer, or pulling the SD card and….
Oh wait. That would mean finding the fucking special card reader, because it’s micro and the tower doesn’t have that, and is that card-reader even hooked up? I don’t know. I’ll find out later.
Why not install AirDroid? AirDroid is pretty fucking awesome, and maybe my phone will support it.
I still don’t fucking know, because, when I turned on WiFi, I discovered a swarm of fucking Update Pixies waiting for me. To update things I didn’t even install, because they were following the scent left behind by the Automatic Install Trolls.
Or possibly fucking space muffins for all I know. Space muffins in the fucking WiFi, installing ALL the fucking apps. Jesus.
So, this is, what, the third degree of procrastination at this point? Uninstall apps so I can get AirDroid so I can get a picture from my phone to my computer without actually plugging it in, because the initial project is making me anxious?
Welcome to four! Because that’s why I’m writing this post, instead of anything else. Uninstalling those fucking apps is a slow process.
This is why I’d make a terrible superhero. Can you see it? I can.
“Hunter! Space is trying to destroy us! Asteroids coming in all directions! You’re the only one who can save us!”
“No. Hah. Just kidding. I’ll get right on it.”
Five minutes later: “Fuck, figuring out how to do this is hard. Let me see if I can find anything on my computer about — wait, what’s this about updates? HOW MANY UPDATES? Okay, I guess I better do that now.”
Three hours and ten mandatory reboots later, I’m swapping between Jurassic Park Builder and Road Trip 2, and the first of every city on the planet is destroyed.
And I start swearing incoherently because my internet dropped off mid-update, and now I can’t even play Jurassic Park Builder, I’ve forgotten why, and I decide that my time might be better spent rubbing a new designer drug directly onto my corneas because, holy shit, it looks bad outside.
ON the bright side?
Procrastination renders me pretty safe, as I’ll never actually get around to extreme levels of super-villainy or homicidal-maniacness.
It does, however, lead to some weirdly un-procrastinatory things. Like right now, with the phone-cleanup and completely-unplanned-as-opposed-to-intended-post-writing. I’ve cleaned and rearranged furniture because I was putting off something small and annoying.
I spent a week sorting through video files, and I don’t even remember what I was putting off. Probably something important.
Avoiding is also what leads to epic learning binges.
This is probably a symptom of something really serious. Some sort of undiagnosed, and possibly previously unheard-of mental illness.
If so, I’m going to demand it be named ‘Space Muffins.’