For the past eight years, with one or two month-long breaks, I’ve been cutting my pizzas with a butter knife.
Why? Because I hate pizza wheels, and those pizza scimitars are just too damn big for someone who, roughly 40% of the time, is cutting a Totino’s Party Pizza.
I should probably explain myself before I get to the product.
I asked for a rice cooker for Christmas, and my parents got me one. Well, sort of. It was listed as Gremlin’s present, but I was the one who asked for it.
I like rice, I just don’t like making it. And the easy-to-cook rice costs so much more than regular rice. Regular rice is, what, fifty cents a pound or something? Something ridiculously cheap. Especially if you buy twenty pounds at once.
Which causes a problem: what the hell do you do with twenty pounds of rice, if you’re not cooking for five hundred people at once?
There are things that a majority of adults can do that I fail at: drive a car, wear pants, hold down a regular job, wash dishes, use chopsticks…y’know, the basics.
One of those things can be moved to a conditional list of ‘kinda actually can’ now.
That’s right! I can now use chopsticks!