Time to do that common blogging thing — complaining.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been awake, and I’m not sure when the last episode of CSI ended, leaving me staring at a blank TV screen, but it’s probably been a while. And the only reason I’m staring at nothing is because I have a whole shitload of stuff I could be doing.
I’ve been working on a couple of site layouts for a few weeks now. One of them is about 80% done — a few bugs to work out, some font issues, and a few minor things that just need touching up, plus image creation and actual moving to the site where it belongs. Another just refuses to go from sketched layout concept to code, even though I know just about exactly how to code it.
I don’t know why. That’s irritating.
Then, of course, there’s my shit, which is the shit that should really matter to me. And by shit, I mean sites. I’ve actually got a few of them, but this is the only one I’ve ever gotten anywhere near finishing — if you count ‘blog and gallery’ finished. I just can’t figure anything out for those sites — I’ve got a whole bunch of ideas for these other sites, even though I can’t get those ideas to go from notebook to code for whatever reason — but nothing for the sites I actually should work on.
I think part of the reason is that I can ignore the vastness of the work that needs to go into the sites that I have ideas for, but not the work that needs to go into the sites that are actually mine. I have this nasty habit of thinking of things that just…outgrow me.
If you’re wondering about the notebook thing…yeah, I know. It’s dumb. I work things out on graph paper best, but I’ve got a bunch of those Steno notepads [with perforated sheets, oooh] that I’m trying to work with now. They’re not helping me along as nicely as the graph paper, but they’re a hell of a lot cheaper.
I don’t know what the fucking deal is with the whole graph paper thing. I don’t know why I can’t just open up Photoshop or whatever and do whatever it is I’m trying to do there, or even open up a word processor and take notes there.
Whatever it is, it seems to have caused larger problems in the whole creative process.
And, of course, I just found a really good reason to get to work on one of my large projects [since, y’know, I missed my intended launch date for the other-other one. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m going to do for layout there].
…then there’s all this shit that I tried doing for Wasted sitting on my desktop, next to everything else.
Maybe that’s my problem. I’m this little kid in a world full of bigger kids, and this whole creative braindeath thing is just some sort of thing trying to tell me that I should just quit for a while, until I grow up.
I think I’ll go stare at the chatroom for a while and pretend that I like people, or something. God, this sucks.