This would be a good ‘why that review was disjointed’ excuse.

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So, I went to see a movie tonight. It started at…six, I think. The ticket’s somewhere. I could check, but it doesn’t matter. I was ‘not home’ for a few hours. I came home to this:

(19:17:22) dvswraith: Where do you guys hang out in chatrooms these days?
(19:30:00) dvswraith: Are you trying to tell me that you are SO busy, you can’t talk to an old, “kinda-friend”?
(19:52:29) dvswraith: Hey, since moving to Arizona, I’ve met a legitimate man that could give “Pandemic” a possible booste to printing with little, or NO cost to you. He’s got “alot of irons in the fire”, but that’s what he does. If even slightly interested, my email addy is Let me know, I have no intention other than knowing a good story is told.
(20:02:51) dvswraith: I forget the word…..(regrettably being a writer myself), but this man….supports “long shots”, because he’s rich. YOU, to some degree, know me Hunter. I’m not full of shit, just checking to see if you’re interested. If not, then buy all means, tell me to “fuck off”.
(20:08:20) dvswraith has buzzed you!
(20:09:43) dvswraith: I know you hate being contacted DIRECTLY, but this is special this time Hunter.
(20:11:41) dvswraith: I’d contact your man, but he never responds to his fans….a fairly, big failing, if you ask me, or any of his fans….

Terribly annoying. Especially since the buzzing started as I sat down to start writing that review. And the messages kept coming. And ooh, a jab at Gremlin, and how all his ‘fans’ keep complaining to…yeah, right. Whatever. So I formed a terse reply, and an attempted brushoff [I really was hoping he’d try to IM Stephen King]. Which led to a whole bunch of interruptions. I should’ve known better.

(20:12:12) evilcoffeechick: It’s especially annoying when people act offended when I don’t reply because I happen to be at least a mile away from my computer at the time. It’s Paroxysm, not Pandemic. It’s here. And you could’ve found this out by hitting the board instead of messaging me.
(20:12:31) evilcoffeechick: Complain to Stephen King. He doesn’t IM either.
(20:13:47) dvswraith: He changed the name of it, since I received the first chapter a yeat ago, my BAD forgive me.
(20:14:00) evilcoffeechick: Announced on the board still.
(20:15:01) dvswraith: Honestly, I haven’t visited his board either in several months…
(20:18:50) dvswraith: I’m not just another “scab” that IMs’s you guys. Now, knowing how the internet can be…I understand being on your guard….I’m not looking to steal anything, as I know I couldn’t, honestly…I’m looking to possibly help be a part of something, that could be SOMETHING.
(20:25:43) evilcoffeechick: The board’s here: — there are other new book previews posted. And it’s an all ’round better way to interact, since it doesn’t require instantaneousness, or even presence. As far as some guy who funds ‘long shots’ because he’s rich, it sounds an awful lot like a personal Publish America, but hey, if someone wants to pass a copy along, that’s none of my business. I have a movie rewview to write now, though, while it’s still painfully fresh.
(20:31:04) dvswraith: Hope you make you make a shit-load of money on your review Hunter.<p

Update: This was waiting for me when I woke up…yesterday.

(14:21:48) dvswraith: Hey Hunter, sorry about last night, I think, perhaps I came off on the wrong page. I was just trying to see what I could do to help you, and Grem, and I see now that I was little behind the times as far as what’s happened thus far with his work. My bad.

Somehow, I don’t think this is actually worth anything more than the standard e-apology. There’s no mention of checking anything in the future instead of going off on ‘I’m taking your lack of response personally because I know you’re sitting right there I can see you!’ fits.

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8 thoughts on “This would be a good ‘why that review was disjointed’ excuse.

  1. Here’s the other half of that:

    Session Start (gremlindotnet:dvswraith): Tue Dec 25 20:22:28 2007
    [20:22] dvswraith: Grem, are you there? You may not remember me, I was Skips’s “replacement” for you. I have a legitimate shot at your story going big. I’m not full of shit here. You’re girl thinks I am, and probably has reason to…
    [20:24] gremlindotnet: Which story?
    [20:28] dvswraith: Pandemic
    [20:28] dvswraith: You sent me the first chapter, roughly…a year ago..
    [20:29] gremlindotnet: Okay.
    [20:30] dvswraith: Wraith, Jason, Skip’s best friend for a while, Denver, Colorado….does any of this help you?
    [20:30] gremlindotnet: Yeah. I know how you are.
    [20:30] gremlindotnet: who*
    [20:30] dvswraith: Good.
    [20:32] dvswraith: I can’t promise my benefactor’s reaction, or opinion, but, as a reader, and fan, of the story, would you like me to, with no strings attached…try?
    [20:32] gremlindotnet: Okay. You know where the book is?
    [20:33] gremlindotnet: (Link:
    [20:33] dvswraith: Last time I talked to you, it wasn’t even finished Grem…
    [20:34] gremlindotnet: I released it on Halloween2005.
    [20:34] dvswraith: Holly shit. 2 YEARS AGO???
    [20:34] gremlindotnet: Yup.
    [20:35] dvswraith: Wow, ok. Done Anything with it yet? (No offense intended)
    [20:35] gremlindotnet: We’re discussing the filmrights. Shooting hasn’t begun.
    [20:37] dvswraith: Shit….I want to star in it!!!. Ok, well, I guess then that publishing the thing is long past?
    [20:37] gremlindotnet: Yeah. It’s out. Though the pulp options are still kinda open.
    [20:38] dvswraith: Don’t “B Movie” this thing bud…it’s BETTER than that, at least as far as I read…
    [20:39] gremlindotnet: That’s part of the discussion. One of the bidders is big. He tends to dump nine figures into films.
    [20:41] dvswraith: Whoa…Ok…back to the previous line then…Can I be in it?? Sorry to bother with this man, I hadn’t realized it had become this big..
    [20:41] gremlindotnet: We’re not really into casting yet.
    [20:41] dvswraith: Well, and I’m 750 miles away now so…
    [20:43] dvswraith: I was just curious as to whether you had done anything with it yet, because I thought, based on what I had read, that it was just a brilliant, well thought out, story, without stealing anthing from previous genres.
    [20:44] gremlindotnet: There’s stolen stuff; but it admits that. One of the characters has seen every zombiefilm ever made.
    [20:45] dvswraith: OF COURSE. That’s not strolen bud, that’s paying Homage.
    [20:46] gremlindotnet: That link has a preview of the first 150 pages or so. If your people do massmarket paperbacks, I suppose it would give them an idea. Not that they couldn’t just buy a copy and see it.
    [20:50] dvswraith: Let’s be honest….”My people”, huh-uh Just a guy I Know with a lot of money to throw around on a huge handfull of projects, just on bullshit things here in Arizona….and, you’rs, my pseudo-friend, is not a “bullshit” project.
    [20:51] gremlindotnet: Okay. Have him grab a copy, read it, and pitch whatever he’s got in mind.
    [20:54] dvswraith: Pitch for what? Publish?, or Film?
    [20:55] gremlindotnet: It’s published in hardcover. The paperback rights are still open. I suppose the filmrights are open until I sign something. But that would be a lot of cash.
    [20:57] dvswraith: Ok, number 1: Tell me how I can get a hardcover copy of the full thing for my OWN, personal enjoyment. (Cause, I loved the “teaser” you sent me), and…if it’s already published, then let me talk to my friend, and employer, about film…
    [20:58] gremlindotnet: The hardcover’s at the link I gave you. (Link:
    [20:59] gremlindotnet: The trick with the film is holding out for something worth making. As complex as the book is, it wouldn’t be cheap.
    [21:00] dvswraith: Sorry if I missed that link before, I’m on pain pills for a broken elbow… bad. But, regardless, I’m still for real here bud.
    [21:00] gremlindotnet: Okay.
    [21:02] dvswraith: Do you have any experience with (And I feel stupid asking this) writing up a legally, binding contract? Just for the sole, purpose of protecting your rights?
    [21:03] gremlindotnet: Yeah.
    [21:05] dvswraith: Ok. Let me talk with my man, and then, you, I can discuss the details, and then we can work towards a deal; at least with my between my benefactor, and you. Agreed?
    [21:05] gremlindotnet: Okay.
    [21:06] dvswraith: Okay.
    [21:07] dvswraith: Give me a couple of days, it is the Giftmas Season afterall…
    [21:07] gremlindotnet: Yeah.
    [21:10] dvswraith: Okay. Time for bed. Work tomorrow, and all that. Talk to you tomorrow. Agreed?
    [21:10] gremlindotnet: I’ll probably be around.
    [21:10] dvswraith: Hope so, if not, you’ll get a message. Talk to you soon.
    [21:11] gremlindotnet: Okay.
    [21:11] *** “dvswraith” signed off at Tue Dec 25 21:11:34 2007.
    Session Close (dvswraith): Tue Dec 25 21:11:35 2007

  2. I honestly don’t remember ever personally interacting with the dweeb while he was still around. But from this… yeecchh. Kind of leaves a slimy/greasy feeling on your soul, doesn’t it? And this is how he’s spending his Christmas? That’s, I dunno, kinda really desperately sad and pitiful, in a way I just can’t bring myself to care about. Not that it’s going to go anywhere, anyway. “I know a guy who might invest” = I nominate him for super-crazy fan. Every author has one.

  3. From what I know about the guy, his Benefactor is going to be a urine-soaked tarot card, a magic eight-ball, the letter J, the number 5, and the ephedrine television workshop.

  4. Y’know, I had all sorts of silly things going through my mind when I read this, but I just don’t know what to say now. In case anyone doesn’t know, dvswraith is an ex of mine. Meth-addicted, alcoholic, toothless, worthless, compulsive lying, waste of pretty much everything that he is, it’s still humorous to know that he still considers himself somehow legitimate. Baron and I are pretty sure he’s actually gay, which makes his use of “my man” all the more interesting. And Nobi, you have no clue about the greasy, slimy feeling this guy leaves, but I’d better not say anymore, or I’ll be puking all night.

    *Here’s to hoping it’ll post this time…

    • The moderation got you. It shouldn’t happen again, now that your email address has one approved comment connected to it.

      …unless your comment happens to have a link in it. Or something else that makes it land in moderation.

  5. I can tell you exactly what this means. It means he’s burned his bridges in Arizona and thinks he can weasel a new place to do meth out of Gremlin. Not that that’s actually going to work or anything, but he’s dumb enough to think he’ll get a meal ticket out of this ass-kissing scam.

    I’m just glad he doesn’t talk to us. Of course, I’m planning on that happening the second Colorado doesn’t work out for him. If he does ask about me, everyone is free to give him “our address”:

    13910 South Wilmington Avenue
    Compton, California 93645

    (or if he believes we still live in Denver, anywhere near five points’ll miraculously turn out to be our address).

    • Actually there scariest place in Denver that I know of makes Five Points look like Cherry Hills. It’s called Sun Valley, that little ditch of insanity between I-25 and Federal, and 8th and 12th Avenues. It’s mostly the projects, but I’m thinking something like 925 Decatur St, 80204 would be just great.

      Of course, you could just tell him to fuck off and threaten him with harrassment charges if he continues to show up. Possibly even stalking.

      And if it makes any difference Grem, you have plenty of fans like me who are completely sane. Or at least have their neuroses and psychoses under control.

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